My name is Annette Ryder, I am a 51 year old separated single parent of two sons, nearly 18 and 14, and two daughers, 12, and 10. My oldest just graduated from high school, and wants to go into some kind of engineering or computer training. His brother is an entering freshman, eager to teach, serve and lead--he does all three well. These two are precocious in their maturity, and have been a great help to me in trying to support my efforts to keep our family together and functioning well. They have also given up a great deal of their time, socially and otherwise, in trying to be my assistants; their father, my now estranged husband, has had increasing difficulty holding a job, relating socially, etc. He left the home last year, under the cloud of a restraining order after verbally threatening my life and safety repeatedly, even in the earshot of his "dearly loved daughters". He is undergoing therapy and taking the domestic violence requirements to lift the restraining order; there is some progress toward sanity. The damage has been done, however, and we are beginning to see some hope again establishing a normal life and a new sense of relationship between us.

My oldest son is not attending college, in part because this year has been a great strain on him, and he wants to take some time away to "get his life together", work, maybe go into the military for a short "hitch", or take some classes in order to transfer to a local college. My younger son, very gifted in math and science, wants to work to help advance his education and go after his goals to attend a private college either in Washington or California. These two, as well as my younger daughters, have had to sacrifice happiness, dreams, ambitions and much of what should have been a happy childhood in dealing with difficulties at home. I am determined, whether I remain married to this man in recovery or not, to do all I can to bring hope back into this household and help them achieve their dreams as best as possible. They have brought me much joy, happiness and strength; I love them dearly and appreciate them greatly. We have no blood kin in my family to turn to for help in this way, and my husband's family may not be able to help us either.

Thank you for what assistance you can give, even in listening to my story.

Annette Ryder